Dude Looks Like a Lady

Man I feel good… really good. It’s pretty hard to believe, but maybe all I really needed was one amazing weekend throwing my body down a mountain of snow to finally wake up and see it. Life doesn’t have to be this complicated. I’m sure some of you will think I’m talking crazy, or maybe just saying that to justify being lazy. But in my head, I feel like I’ve finally discovered the secret to having it all.

There I was, strapping into my bindings at the top of Squaw’s Emigrant lift, and looking out over a sight so beautiful it took my breath away. How can I be amidst such simple beauty, and not appreciate the beautiful simplicity of life? But I’m making it sound more poetic than it actually happened.

To be honest, the moment hit me while taking a lunch break at the Gold Coast café, midway up the mountain, with the 7 guys I’d been hauling ass down the mountain with all morning. Because the best part about that day wasn’t the beautiful snow-covered scenery, or the feel of my snowboard’s carving motion, or even the sweet sweet powder I ate it hardcore in later. The best part was that I got to spend the day talking about the delicious qualities of beer, and the arguments for skiing vs. snowboarding, and how cool it would be to write ‘bro poetry.’ I spend the day hanging out with 7 dudes, and for the first time in a very long time, I got to feel like one too.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love being a woman. I still like getting dressed up and going out for a night on the town. And I swoon and gush over a hot guy as much as the next girl. But ever since I was little, I’ve just sort of had an affinity for being one of the guys. I had mostly guy friends as a kid, and played a lot of sports, and (some might say) even acted quite like a guy myself.

The appeal was the simplicity. Guys just keep it simpler, and it’s really such a remarkable and admirable thing. They don’t over think their words before they speak, and they don’t obsess over what yours might have meant. They usually just say what they mean, and mean it. That doesn’t mean they’re always right, or true, or good. But they are straight forward, and sincere, and simple.

Ok so it’s not necessarily a ‘guys’ vs. ‘girls’ thing either. I guess it’s better described as a ‘masculine’ vs. ‘feminine’ energy sort of thing, both of which can appear to varying degrees in both sexes. So you could say I had a greater tendency toward masculine energy in my childhood. And it’s something I’ve been missing for far too long. I’d forgotten how much I love hanging out with just a group of dudes, who don’t talk about their feelings, but rather how awesome it feels to race down a mountainside.

I’m a closeted dude. Or rather, I was an openly expressed dude in earlier years, and have since closeted that side of me. And now my inner dude, the voice of my disowned dude, has found a way back out. And boy is she happy! She’s showing me what I’ve always known, but have failed lately to see: that life is easier to handle, and the bad times easier to deal with, and stress less present, when you keep things simple.

It’s like Timothy Ferriss says in ‘The 4-Hour Workweek,’ the secret to having more time is doing less. In his book, Ferriss centers his philosophy around 4 main principles for your lifestyle. And with them, he’s really telling us to take 4 rather simple, but extremely difficult steps in our lives. However, if taken, they promise to have exponentially beneficial impact. These are: Define, Eliminate, Automate, and Liberate.

It’s a classic case of easier said than done. But as I read on, and relive the amazing sensation I felt this past weekend in Tahoe, I am further convinced that these 4 steps are a calling card for me, and will indeed prove fruitful in the quest I currently find myself on. I first want to define what is most important to me, what my true values, goals and passions are. And as luck would have it, I’d already begun to do that very step before I’d even picked up Ferriss’ book.

From there, I’ll be able to eliminate what doesn’t align with those, especially anything eating up unnecessary time. This I’ve not yet started. but I am already bubbling over with ideas. I can then automate to simplify the time-consuming things I do wish to keep around. And finally, liberate myself from my fears of failure, which threaten to rip all this progress to shreds – essentially saving the hardest for last.

Now I’m not saying that I want to be a dude all the time. And I’m not about to sign myself up for a sex change operation. But I do think that if I can let my inner dude out more often, life can really be so much easier and happier. I can still be a woman, strong and ladylike at the same time. And I can still enjoy getting gussied up, or crushing on a cute guy, or have girls’ nights out, or talk about my feelings.

But at the core of it all, at the heart of my life’s journey, my success will depend greatly on how simple and sublime a rhythm I can maintain. I realize now why I’ve lately been so nostalgic for those fun carefree days of my childhood, why I’ve longed so desperately for who I used to be. And I also now have a real solid idea of what it will take to keep me focused, driven and panic-free. It’s such an incredible feeling, and if I can really hold on to this, and not forget it again, I know I will have an incredibly rich, happy and (relatively) sane life ahead of me.

I’m going to keep it simple. I’m going to Define, Eliminate, Automate and Liberate. And I’m going to honor the dude in me. That, my friends, is the path this lady has chosen. Rock on, man!

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