The me from a year ago might not recognize the me of today. My closest friends continue to remind me of how material a change they’ve seen me undergo in the last year or so. It’s amazing to see how far I’ve come, and where I used to be.
For nearly all of my life prior to this massive change, I had a hard time facing my reality, and didn’t yet understand how to take control of my life. I am one of those people who lives to work and needs to feel that I’m living fully at all times. And when my current employment didn’t give me that satisfaction, I had to find it elsewhere. So I had a lot of outlets, and I needed them.
Perhaps the most prominent outlet I’ve had for the majority of my life was writing poetry. It’s what got me through the first rough patch in junior high, and everyday afterwards. At first, they weren’t very good poems or very well kept – scribbled on loose paper and shoved into one giant red binder. But over time I developed a voice, a style, and a better system. Eventually, they found their way onto blog I now call Ahn Beat.
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I started this blog a few years ago, both to transfer those old cherished poems from their pages as well as continue to share more. And up until a year ago, I continued to write new content pretty regularly.
But here is the interesting part – I haven’t actually written a new poem in about a year.
I guess you could say this new life I’ve found, this new path I’m pursuing with all my heart and soul, is giving me the greatest outlet I could have ever imagined. And now I don’t need to write poetry anymore. Oh I still love the art of it, and may yet write more from time to time. But I don’t need it like I used to. And that feels pretty damn good.
I guess you could say I’ve found a new way to keep myself Ahn Beat.
The Writes of Passage 